The rules are simple: pick two players on defense, two players on offense, and one "wild card" (an offensive player, defensive player, special teamer or coach) who stuck out from the pack.
As you all are surely aware, the Ravens turned in a dominant victory against the hapless Dolphins in Week 1, and as a result, we have some Ass-Pats to hand out.
They will count down in sequential order before we name the ultimate honor -- Pat On Both Cheeks. That one player who one single Pat just wouldn't sit right (pun intended).
With no further ado:
Glenn's Pats on the Ass:
He stepped up and made a play when the game was still a game. It was tough to identify specific defensive players to choose from because it became a laugher so quickly. But when it was still a football game, he made the play.
He was all over the field when it came to making plays. He made an impact seemingly at every level.
The scripted part of the gameplan was so perfect that they never needed to go off-script. May it forever be that way.
It was nearly impossible for me to choose between number two and number one. In fact I wanted to make it a tie. Lamar was obviously incredible.
The only reason I went with Brown at #1 and Jackson #2 is because of the "cause and effect" nature of what happened yesterday. It seems like Brown's greatness had a pretty direct impact on Jackson's. But if you went with Jackson at #1 because ultimately he's the quarterback and that's the most important thing, you're not wrong.
Flew around the football field, and was particularly impactful with his pass rush, which was an encouraging sight.
4. Earl Thomas
Showed early that he brings a true playmaking aspect to the defense that both shores up coverage on the back end and provides a spark in the turnover department.
3. Mark Andrews
Diabetics stick together. He also looked really effing good.
2. Marquise Brown
What a difference it makes to put electric athletes on the outside (and slot). Not only did the athleticism stand out, but the nuances of both his route running and hands were also on display. What a debut.
1. Lamar Jackson (Two Pats on the Ass)
Copy. Paste. Forever and ever.
If you missed the segment, click play below to listen.